[📝] Today #42: Mental Breakdown

✨ GPT Summary 　

A day when I faced mental collapse and depleted willpower, then decided to move forward with grit for a while to achieve the goal.

🎯 Goals

• Today’s goal
  • ✅ Write diary
• Leading indicators for the three major goals
  • ❌ Goal 1 (Reach 65kg▼ body weight): 1800kcal▼ (Result: 1960kcal, 80.5kg)
  • ❌ Goal 2 (Release 5 apps▲): Write Keymory development diary
  • ❌ Goal 3 (Win 1 startup contest▲): Watch/read one startup-related video/post
• Habit tracking
  • ❌ Reflection: life quote
  • ❌ Diary: write Bible meditation
  • ❌ Diary: write development diary
  • ❌ Diary: write reading post
  • ❌ Diary: write Today post
  • ❌ Church: Z, YT, Web
  • ❌ Verification: AIFFELthon, QT, Today, diet/workout

💭 Diary

My mentality has broken over the past few days.

There are probably many causes: responsibility, burden, helplessness, guilt, fatigue, and more.

But I still have to do it. I am no longer in a position, situation, or environment where I can just sit down like this.

And collapsing at a wall that may be relatively small is also proof that my mentality is now very weak or exhausted.

• To overcome a weak mentality, even if my head feels like it will break, I should strengthen the firm will to endure and finish. Only by enduring this will my mental limit rise.
• To overcome an exhausted mentality, I should rest moderately. But when resting, I should not rest through YouTube or games. I should rest through meditation, gratitude, and prayer, at least until the project ends.

I still believe systems that reduce willpower demand are more important than willpower itself. As I wrote in an earlier diary ([📝] Today #30: A Successful Goal-Achievement Cycle), the core of the most effective goal-achievement cycle is changing the system.

Goal-Achievement Success Cycle

Motivation - awakening - environment building(especially community) - effort - habituation - endurance - breaking through a threshold - self-redefinition

But an issue occurred where even the minimum willpower needed to maintain the system ran out. After that, the system (diary writing, etc.) collapsed, and willpower recovery resilience (such as stopping during YouTube) also collapsed.

Maybe the Goal-Achievement Success Cycle needs revision. Is the system the problem? The willpower limit? Willpower recovery resilience?

I do not know, but right now I do not even have the luxury to think about it. I am in a desperate situation where strong willpower is essential.

So until the project ends on February 10, I have no choice but to move forward with the most primitive mechanism: grit.

Ha… damn…

✨ GPT-4o Comment (KPT)

Keep: You honestly recorded the collapse and analyzed causes instead of hiding them.
Problem: When willpower ran out, the system collapsed too.
Try: Add an emergency system that works even when willpower is low, such as one-line diaries or one-minute meditation.

📌 Three Major Goals Progress Dashboard

Goal 1: Reach 65kg▼ Body Weight (-19.5kg)

• Deadline
  • 2025.1.1 ~ 2025.12.31
• This month’s goal
  • ✅ 2025.01 M 1st (1.1): Reach fasting body weight 81kg▼ (monthly -3.5kg)
  • ✅ 2025.01 M 2nd (1.19): Reach fasting body weight 80.5kg▼ (monthly -4kg)
• This week’s goal
  • ✅ 2025.01 W3: Reach fasting body weight 80.5kg▼ (weekly -0.6kg)
• Daily goals
  • ❌ 2025.01.20 Mon: 1800kcal▼ (Result: 2138kcal, 81.0kg)
  • ✅ 2025.01.21 Tue: 1800kcal▼ (Result: 1389kcal, 80.9kg)
  • ✅ 2025.01.22 Wed: 1800kcal▼ (Result: 1622kcal, 80.6kg)
  • ✅ 2025.01.23 Thu: 1800kcal▼ (Result: 1442kcal, 80.3kg)
  • ❌ 2025.01.24 Fri: 1800kcal▼ (Result: 3735kcal)
  • ❌ 2025.01.25 Sat: 1800kcal▼ (Result: 2040kcal)
  • ❌ 2025.01.26 Sun: 1800kcal▼ (Result: 1960kcal, 80.5kg)
• Reference indicators

  • Body composition test (InBody) record

    Date	Weight (kg)	Skeletal Muscle Mass (kg)	Body Fat Mass (kg)	Body Fat Percentage (%)
    2025.1.1	84.5	31.2	29.5	34.9

  • BMI index (2025.1.1)

• Notes
  • Carbohydrates 198g(44%) + protein 117g(26%) + fat 60g(30%) = 1800kcal

---

Goal 2: Release 5 Apps▲

• Deadline
  • 2025.1.1 ~ 2025.12.31
• This month’s goal
  • ▶️ 2025.01 M: Develop Keymory app v0.0.1 (AIFFEL 9th core course - AIFFELthon)
• This week’s goal
  • ❌ 2025.01 W3: Social Media App lecture (22/22): create sample template, then Keymory MVP combine with diary/chat features
• Daily goals
  • ❌ 2025.01.20 Mon: Social Media App lecture (12/22, current 8)
  • ❌ 2025.01.21 Tue: Social Media App lecture (18/22, current 10)
  • ✅ 2025.01.22 Wed: Write Daily Dev Log
  • ✅ 2025.01.23 Thu: Write Keymory development diary
  • ✅ 2025.01.24 Fri: Write Keymory development diary
  • ❌ 2025.01.25 Sat: Write Keymory development diary
  • ❌ 2025.01.26 Sun: Write Keymory development diary
• Reference indicators
  • First app: Keymory (in development)
• Notes
  • Play Store app registration requires applying as a sole proprietor -> not planning to register
    • If I apply as a sole proprietor, I may not be able to enter startup contests
  • After graduating from AIFFEL 9th cohort in February, I plan to open an MVP Runners Lab at Modu Research Institute
    • Individuals/teams will make one MVP (minimum viable product) app per month and present at the end of each month.
      • Presentation footage will be uploaded to the Growing IngHyukKing RPG channel (mosaic on request)

---

Goal 3: Win 1 Startup Contest▲

• Deadline
  • 2025.1.1 ~ 2025.12.31
• This month’s goal
  • ▶️ 2025.01 M: Research and organize a list of 2025 startup contests
• This week’s goal
  • ❌ 2025.01 W3: Watch/read at least 4 startup-related information videos/posts
• Daily goals
  • ❌ 2025.01.20 Mon: Watch/read one startup-related video/post
  • ❌ 2025.01.21 Tue: Watch/read one startup-related video/post
  • ✅ 2025.01.22 Wed: Watch/read one startup-related video/post
  • ✅ 2025.01.23 Thu: Watch/read one startup-related video/post
  • ❌ 2025.01.24 Fri: Watch/read one startup-related video/post
  • ❌ 2025.01.25 Sat: Watch/read one startup-related video/post
  • ❌ 2025.01.26 Sun: Watch/read one startup-related video/post
• Reference indicators
  • None

• Notes
  • 2025 startup-related schedule (contests, mentoring, etc.)
    • K-Global Startup Mentoring (ICT innovation company mentoring)

      • Support content
        • Mentoring
        • Practical startup education
        • Investment attraction capacity strengthening
        • Promotion support
      • Eligible applicants
        • Prospective founders/teams and startup CEOs in ICT and fourth industrial revolution fields
      • Budget: 1.07 billion KRW
      • Responsible ministry: Ministry of Science and ICT
      • Dedicated agencies: National IT Industry Promotion Agency, Korea Entrepreneurship Foundation

✅ Quick Image Review

✅ Mood Tracking by Daylio

---

✅ Habit Tracking by TickTick

---

✅ Workout record by Body Calendar

---

✅ Meal analysis by Sprint