[✝️] My Doubtful Faith

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[John 20:20] After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord. [John 20:27] Then he said to Thomas, Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.

• Original: http://blog.naver.com/hyeogikarp/223912078035
• Naver published at: 2025/06/26 09:18 KST
• Original category: Religion

Original

[John 20:20] After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

[John 20:27] Then he said to Thomas, Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.

[John 20:28] Thomas said to him, My Lord and my God!

[John 20:29] Then Jesus told him, Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.

[John 20:31] But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

The apostles who doubted until they directly saw Jesus’ resurrection, and even Thomas, who could not believe until he touched the wounds. He is often called the representative of “the doubtful one.”

But I see another truth in his story. He did not lose Jesus’ favor, and rather, among all the apostles, he left the greatest confession of faith: “My Lord and my God.” The one who laid the cornerstone of the essence of Christian theology, the “Trinity,” was precisely that “doubtful” Thomas.

Of course, Jesus said, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” A pure faith without doubt is certainly valuable and blessed. But I believe we must always guard against the possibility that this “blessed faith” degenerates into “blind faith” that accepts everything without any questions.

Think about the process through which Thomas reached his great confession. He did not avoid his doubt, and he asked the most fundamental question. In the end, fierce doubt and questioning are essential in order to understand the (theological) essence more clearly. Going further, deep conversation and debate must also accompany this if we want to confirm whether that realization aligns with the God each person has encountered.

Those who reach complete faith through only the Word and prayer are certainly blessed. But I want to say that a person who believes they can finally reach true faith only through doubt and questions, conversation and debate, and deliberately tries to walk that “narrow path,” is equally blessed.

It is true that whenever my honest confession, “I cannot possibly meet Jesus through only the Word and prayer,” comes back inside the community as criticism that I am “one who lacks faith,” I have felt wronged and sad.

But now it is okay. Because I know that Jesus never turns away from “one who seeks to the end” even inside doubt, and that He will surely lead them into faith, even through the most intense experience. I now believe that God will hold onto this desperate heart of mine that wants to find truth, by whatever method.

Ask. And it will be opened.