[📚] Reading - Models p210: If I Am Confused About Whose Fault It Is, It Is Mine.

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Book cover for ‘Models.’ ‘Models’ p211-213. From now on, I should live with ‘my fault’ on my lips.

• Original: http://blog.naver.com/hyeogikarp/223893844569
• Naver publication time: 2025/06/09 22:30 KST
• Original category: Reading

Original Post

Book cover for ‘Models’

‘Models’ p211-213

From now on, I should live with “my fault” on my lips.

Thinking that almost everything is “my fault” and taking responsibility for all my experiences is the “most honest mindset” that will let me reclaim control of my life and overcome the responsibility avoidance, desperation, and fear deeply embedded inside me.

“If I am confused about whether I am wrong or everyone else is wrong, it is far more likely that I am wrong.”

“When the result is not good, we use stereotypes as a way to avoid responsibility. These excuses harm us and block opportunities. If you blame others, you cannot learn; if you cannot learn, you cannot grow.”

“Shifting responsibility is another form of desperation, because it prioritizes others over oneself.”

These were words I read in the book, and they were extremely obvious.

So at first, I read on without much tension, thinking, “This probably does not apply to me.”

But the examples in the book did not feel unfamiliar somehow.

In that moment, I realized it.

I… have blamed other people and the environment far more than I thought…?

• “It is because of adult ADHD!” -> Counseling and brainwave testing said it was not.

• “It is because of bipolar disorder!” -> Counseling and brainwave testing said it was not.

• “That woman suddenly ghosted me during the talking stage because she is avoidant!” -> I cannot know the truth.

• “It is because of the environment I am in!” -> It was not only because of the environment.

• “Ah, why is that guy just watching instead of helping!” -> I was the one who had charged alone into enemy territory.

In fact, I remember previously reading the “responsibility shifting” section half-asleep and flipping past it, thinking, “This probably is not about me.”

Reading that part carefully again after a long time so I could write a book review on the blog… I got hit right in the bones, literally.

Yes, truth hurts.

But without this bone-deep pain, I cannot realize anything.

From now on, I should live with “my fault” on my lips. Thinking that almost everything is “my fault” and taking responsibility for all my experiences is the “most honest mindset” that will let me reclaim control of my life and overcome the responsibility avoidance, desperation, and fear deeply embedded inside me.