[💭] How to Use Altruism Without Becoming a Pushover

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My behavioral principle is surprisingly simple and clear. I enjoy helping people I like smile.

• Original: http://blog.naver.com/hyeogikarp/223900582147
• Naver published at: 2025/06/16 09:00 KST
• Original category: Reflections

Original

My behavioral principle is surprisingly simple and clear.

I enjoy helping people I like smile.

I do not feel great joy in helping people I have no interest in,

and I clearly dislike helping people I hate.

But life does not always flow according to this simple principle. Sometimes, because of social roles or unavoidable situations, moments come when I have to help people I do not care about, or even dislike. Conversely, even if they are people I like, I often pour all my energy into helping them and end up drained myself.

When I stand at such a fork in the road, what should I use as my standard?

Should I follow my honest “preference,” or should I prioritize the “sociality” required to maintain a community?

In the end, there is no single fixed answer. The task ahead is to wisely recognize the total amount of limited mental energy given to me, distribute it according to the situation, and steadily cultivate the wisdom to exercise a “satisfying level of altruism.”

I must always stay alert so that my goodwill does not drain me or get consumed in places I do not want. When the twisted desire to “be recognized and supported” appears wearing the mask of “altruism,” and I fail to notice it, the end of the choices I make will always leave only regret and blaming others.

In the end, a blindly altruistic person loses himself and ultimately becomes nothing but a “pushover who blames others.”

So, stay awake.