[📚] Reading - Models p202: The Excuse of Preparation, Inner Stories, and the Courage to Act

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Book cover for ‘Models.’ ‘Models’ p202. What I was truly not ready for was not those external conditions.

• Original: http://blog.naver.com/hyeogikarp/223888928802
• Naver publication time: 2025/06/05 00:32 KST
• Original category: Reading

Original Post

Book cover for ‘Models’

‘Models’ p202

What I was truly not ready for was not those external conditions.

The only thing I lacked was courage.

The courage to act honestly according to what pulls me from within.

Looking back, I was always like that.

I always felt that I was “not prepared enough yet.”

After I lose some weight.

After I save a little more money.

After I graduate from the current training process…

It was always only the excuse that I lacked preparation.

So my actions were always pushed to the next thing, and then the next.

But now I have finally realized it.

What I was truly not ready for was not those external conditions.

The only thing I lacked was courage.

The courage to act honestly according to what pulls me from within.

Honestly, that one courage was always lacking.

Something like that happened on a bus a few months ago.

I saw a woman who greeted people incredibly brightly, was pretty and cute, and even had no ring on the ring finger of her left hand.

At that moment, a clear “desire to at least try talking to her” was boiling inside me.

It was an honest desire from within me, and I thought it might be a chance that would never come again.

But after 30 minutes of hesitation, I simply could not turn that desire into action.

Why on earth…?

In the end, it was because of the countless stories my inner self had created.

All kinds of negative stories about “things that had not happened” and “things that would not even happen.”

Those tiresome stories crushed my desire and ultimately blocked my action.

In the end, the result of failing to muster courage was yet another regret.

This hesitation and getting caught by inner stories is not a story limited only to romantic relationships.

This happened several years ago.

The CEO of a company saw an app I had developed and was deeply impressed, and invited me as many as three times to have a meal alone together.

But in front of that precious opportunity, throughout the meal I belittled the app I had made and spoke as though my own ability was terrible. In fact, looking back now, I really was a gem of a person that a CEO might have had their eye on.

The young version of me thought that was humility.

But it was not. I was simply afraid.

I was dominated by my inner stories, and I shrank back and threw away a precious opportunity.

I still regret what might have happened if I had acted with just a little more courage then.

Another event from a few years ago also comes to mind.

An investor showed great interest in my “Life RPG” proposal and gave me a chance to properly appeal it.

But I was the same then too.

I belittled the value of my proposal, described my state as “just a student with many dreams,” and lowered myself again.

The result was the same. I was once again dominated by my inner stories and shrank back.

Again, what I lacked then was a single step of courage and confident action.

In the end, looking back, the pattern was always the same.

In front of important opportunities, my inner self created negative stories,

I shrank before those stories and could not find the courage to act,

and I repeated the result of being left only with regret.

Because I was afraid I would not be recognized, I created a situation where I would definitely not be recognized and then felt relieved.

How foolish…

So, have I improved now? Yes. I think I have improved a lot now.

The present me is in a very honest state with myself, and thanks to that, I am in a state full of confidence.

Because of that, I am full of expectation that I may really be able to break this tiresome pattern of inner stories and hesitation.

I will no longer hide behind the story “I am not ready yet.” I will step forward confidently.

What I need most right now is nothing else: it is the courage to act.

Having that courage is the true beginning of every change.

Let’s go.